Raising Faith: Raising Kids to Follow Jesus and Eat Donuts
Written by Pastor Eric Sahlberg. Edited by Denise Varano. Photo by Court Prather on Unsplash.
Faith is a
four-year-old, curly haired girl growing up in the suburbs of Boston. Her
favorite color is purple. Some of her favorite activities are dressing up teddy
bears, playing soccer with preschool friends, washing the car with dad, and baking
cookies with mom. She loves Jesus and her favorite food is a glazed donut.
Faith’s parents
love their daughter and they love God. They seem to have it all. However,
they struggle with knowing how to raise Faith in the Christian faith. They want
to help Faith have faith for a lifetime.
A 2017 research
study by Lifeway surveyed 2,000 Protestant and
nondenominational churchgoers who attend church at least once a month and have
adult children ages 18 to 30. The purpose of the project was to discover what
parenting practices were common in the families where young adults remained in
the Christian faith. What practices affected their spiritual development? What “ingredients”
help a growing girl like Faith continue to have faith as an adult?
BIBLE READING
The study showed
the most important ingredient was Bible reading. Children who regularly read
their Bible while they were growing up were more likely to have a vibrant
spiritual life as adults. “So, faith comes from hearing, and hearing
through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17). The
narrative of the Bible lays out a bigger picture of the world around us and
God's love for people (John 3:16).
The Bible provides a framework for understanding life and salvation, as well
as how to love others.
Thankfully Faith’s
parents purchased a number of great children’s Bibles such as The Beginner’s Bible,
the Jesus Story Book Bible, and amazing
little Arch Books. They take time
at home to read together on a regular basis. Yes, they read stories like That’s Not My Lion
but they also read “God’s Wonderful Surprise” in the Jesus Story Book Bible (page 310). Faith
also enjoys listening and playing games on the free Bible for Kids app on her
parents’ tablet. She loves the colorful illustrations and the touch-activated
animations that bring the Bible to life.
As Faith gets older,
she’ll pass along her children’s Bible to another family with young children.
She’ll receive other student Bibles and study Bibles
appropriate to her age. She’ll eventually download a free Bible on her phone. But
now, Faith is regularly reading her Bible and learning more about God’s love
for her and all people.
PRAYER
Ranked closely behind
reading the Bible in the Lifeway study, was time in prayer. Children who
regularly prayed while growing up were more likely to have an active faith-life
as an adult. The type of prayer wasn’t specific. It could have been a morning
prayer, thanks given at dinner, requests for friends and family at bedtime or
prayers at worship services. Parents and grandparents have a wonderful
opportunity to teach their children how to pray. There are many helpful
resources for Faith’s parents such as A Child’s Book of Prayers
and What Every Child Should Know
About Prayer. Jesus even
gives us an example of how to pray with the Lord’s Prayer.
Faith’s parents
can help Faith brush her teeth and put on her pajamas before praying together
as a family at bedtime. Faith’s mom could start with the prayer and her dad
could always say good night to their little girl, ending with, “Daddy loves you
and did you know Jesus loves you even more?”
SERVICE
On near equal
footing with prayer, children who regularly served in church often continue to progress
in their faith as adults. This means more than Faith’s parents regularly
attending worship services but churches also integrating children into various
aspects of service. The habit of serving others in the church and the
world shaped many young adults as disciples of Jesus who love and serve others.
Faith can serve
even at four-years-old. She can sing in the children’s choir. She can hand
out flowers on Mother’s Day and Easter. She can help pack a shoebox with gifts for
the less fortunate, to remind her that Jesus is the greatest gift. She can help
clean up after summer Bible camp. To round out the ingredient list for future
faithfulness are things such as church mission trips highlighting the
importance of acts of service.
SONGS
Music adds to the
service aspect as another strong building ingredient. Faith’s parents enjoy
streaming music on their smart phones. What they may not realize is that the
type of songs Faith is slowly learning, comes from mom and dad’s play list (for
better or worse). Songs connect to the soul. The Psalms are a heartfelt hymn
book. Martin Luther’s Reformation taught the common person through song.
At that time a new Bible cost about the price of a family car. People learned
the Word of God through song. For example, Martin Luther wrote many hymns
including “All Glory Be to Christ” sung here
by King’s Kaleidoscope and “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God” sung here
by CPH Children’s Choir.
Parents on the
go can easily create a new play list of children’s songs for the minivan or SUV.
The selection for songs these days is much larger and more convenient to access
than it was 30 years ago when mom and dad sang “Jesus Loves Me” and “I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N”
in the station wagon. Today there are resources on YouTube,
iTunes, Amazon Prime Music,
Pandora and Spotify. There are thousands
of music resources available for parents to download in seconds. Choices are plentiful
like Songs Kids Love to Sing, 50 Bible Songs for Kids, Ultimate Kids Worship, Hillsong Kids, 25 Favorite Toddler Songs by VeggieTales and
more. Music is often free, part of a subscription service for unlimited music
(i.e., $9.99 month), or can be purchased for $6 to $21 for an entire album.
Faith’s parents have fun and sing along with Faith’s favorite songs.
FRIENDS
Faith is making
several new friends in Sunday school and at Sunday morning worship. New
friendships are creating one more dynamic that will strengthen her faith. Her
parents enjoy a small group Bible study where they are making friends and
receiving support as they raise Faith. Older parents are mentoring Faith’s
parents through the ups and downs in life. Faith’s parents have a loving,
extended family. Faith’s birthday parties are filled with children, family, and
“adopted grandparents, uncles, and aunts” from church. Faith’s family is
experiencing a healthy relationship with God and others.
What
four-year-old Faith doesn’t realize yet is she will meet her best friend her
freshman year at her church’s high school youth group. As a teenager her best
friend will be a positive influence on her to follow Jesus. At twenty-five
years old, Faith will ask her best friend to be the maid-of-honor in her
wedding. Faith is making lifelong friends.
CULTURE FOR FAMILY MINISTRY
Faith’s parents
are creating a culture for family ministry. They are creating a healthy
environment where Faith can ask questions of faith when she comes home from
school. She can be mentored by other generations of Christians. She experiences
a children’s message on Sundays from her pastor. She learns about God’s love at
Sunday school from caring teachers. She hears her parents forgive and love one
another through ups and downs in life. She encounters the good news of Jesus’
love in the Bible and in her home. And as Faith gets older, she comes alongside
her parents to serve her neighborhood, and on mission trips to help people
around the world.
For many years
Christian parents assumed the size of the church or the church’s programs were
the key ingredients in the child’s spiritual development. Parents felt pressure
to have their children be a part of the largest children’s
ministry, attend the best Vacation Bible School, or participate in the
most creative Sunday school program. Lifeway’s research study shows that
these resources make an impact when they are added to essential ingredients of
Bible reading, prayer, service, song, and friendships. This creates a
culture of bringing home and church together in healthy ways that will grow
Faith’s faith.
NOT A FORMULA
Parenting
strategies and research studies are helpful, but they are not a formula for
success. We see in the Old Testament faithful kings like Josiah had children
who departed from the faith. We know that we cannot by our own reason or
strength believe in Jesus Christ or come to Him, but the Holy Spirit calls us
by the Gospel, enlightens us with His gifts, and keeps us in the true faith.
As a parent
there is nothing more valuable than your children. And your children are
valuable to God. In the gospel of Matthew, the disciples came to Jesus, asking,
“Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to himself a child,
he put him in the midst of them and answered, “Truly, I say to you, unless you
turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven” (Matthew 18:1–4).
Raising Faith
requires childlike faith and trusting the Lord. We trust his promises. At the
same time parents are called to model faith for their children and teach them
to obey everything Christ commanded (Matthew 28:20; 1 Corinthians 15:3). May
God bless us as we share the good news of Jesus with these little ones.
Additional
Resources:
Sticky Faith
by Fuller Youth Institute
Parenting resources
from FamilyLife
